through the mud

How easy it was, at first, to methodically make my way through the dense mud. What began as a puddle had grown into its own entity. It was almost life-like, with clingy hands pulling me deeper, while blinding me from my need for help. I couldn't see the depth of it's darkness or how tightly it had me, for it was all I knew. Each step was like every step before it, except this was a downhill slope. I was content in my ignorance.
Yet rays of light began to penetrate the walls of my existence. Even the dimmest light hurts as the eyes adjust, but how much deeper the pain when glimpses of a fearful reality begin to turn the heart cold. Anger welled inside, with songs of self-confidence bellowing in my head, creating a sense of euphoria. Pride smothered doubts that wanted to take root in my subconscious. But each step was now different. It was not taken in ignorance. I could not understand how anything could ever be different, and wasn't convinced it should be. I only knew that the darkness had been comfortable but was now menacing.
In time, reality began to feel cold and constricting. I was sinking deeper and for the first time wanted out. Light was breaking through in larger amounts, and my situation showed itself to be impossible. I resigned myself to being swallowed up in a pit of black. There was nothing I could do. I was alone. In a pitiful cry of sorrow, I called out for help. A blinding light shattered the darkness, and there was a rock. With no hesitation I reached up and clung to it. It was my only way out. Now I stand on the Rock, clean and safe. It is my job to be a light so that others might see.

Shortly after I wrote this, I read the following verses in Psalm 4:1-2
I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

And also Psalm 107:10-14:

Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Bound in affliction and irons-
Because they rebelled against the words of God,
And despised the counsel of the Most High,
Therefore He brought down their heart with labor;
They fell down, and there was none to help.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
And broke their chains in pieces.

The Worthy Soldier

The soldier stood steady, hands on his weapon, eyes straight ahead, mindful only of his duty. The enemy was out there, prowling around in the dark night, waiting for an opportunity to attack. The soldier knew his enemy well. He had seen him attack before and had studied his methods. But more then that, he knew how to defeat him. The soldier could have been frightened; most others would have thought it normal. But he was not. He had been well-trained for moments like this. Many hours he had spent learning from his commanding officer. The experience from others told him that while the enemy was powerful, he was not invincible. His attacks could hurt, wound, and send the soldiers into dismay, but he could not win if they followed orders and stayed alert. The weapons used against the enemy were used and dirty from previous encounters. The soldier was very familiar with each one. He had learned to use them in nearly any circumstance, and mentally went over each step in his head.
As the night went on, the soldier became tired. He knew his enemy would attack if he let his guard down. He longed for bed, a meal, or even the luxury of letting his mind wonder for a moment. But that could mean death for those counting on him. His focus returned to him as he thought of the importance of those lives. His momentary discomfort was nothing compared to the results of his lack of focus.

2 Tim. 2:3-4 "Therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. No man at war entangles himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who has chosen him to be a soldier."

1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour:

Barabbas

Guilty I stand,
Condemned and shamed
My sins before all
I am filthy and stained

The punishment I bare
Is final, deserved
My heart has grown numb
My mind is blurred

Regrets are few
Remorse is rare
In the shadow of death
I begin to care

My life has been selfish,
Empty and vain
I have heaped on my head
Rejection and pain

Through eyes now opened
Eternity in view
I am wretched, despicable
Accepting punishment due

A crowd before me
Filled with anger and hate
Yell, "Crucify him!"
They have sealed my fate

Yet not I, but a man
Quiet and meek
Beaten and mocked
And of innocence did not speak

A murderer's bonds,
The curse and disgrace
Fell onto the One
As He took my place

Nailed to the cross,
His precious blood did flow
My sin on his shoulders
Making His righteousness my own

I walked away free
Penalty paid
A great injustice
On that fateful day

My Cross

As I walk through the valley
Through shadows of death,
I step in the footprints
My Saviour has left.
With He at my side,
And with diligence and care,
I will joyfully carry
This cross I must bear.
This cross comes with pain,
Rejection, and hate,
But it's through this same cross
I received love so great.
The priveledge is mine,
Tho worthy I'm not,
To suffer for Him,
Through His blood I was bought.
May I live in His will,
Never grow weary, or rest.
For me, He gave all;
How could I give Him less?